Soap, Androids, and Electric Unicorns

Originally published on Medium on September 22, 2016, 2 months after I made my first batch of soap, 2 years after making my first Blade Runner Unicorn.

I suffer from insomnia. It comes and goes in waves; sometimes lasting for days, and occasionally feels like weeks. In these bouts of sleeplessness, I lose track of time, forget conversations, and experiences feel like a waking dream. Distinguishing between dream and reality is a difficulty. In fact, my social interactions become a puzzle; what have I forgotten from the day before? What promises have I made? When will I wake from this dream?

During this cloudiness I create and grow; I’ve written lines of computer code, designed feedback loops, finished complex games, have read multiple novels in record time, and have shared my most intimate moments. My mind wakes from a dormant slumber, goes into overdrive, but my body soon fights the insanity. It ends in an exhausting battle, my neurons numb, my body screams, and I feel nothing again. I’m going to sleep now. It’s been an eternity.

Do androids dream of electric unicorns? I do. I also make soap.

FEEL NO EVIL

I still suffer from insomnia. Not as severe as in 2016 when I wrote these words. I still lose track of time, forget conversations, and experiences still feel like a waking dream. Distinguishing dreams from reality isn't much of an issue these days. My dreams have merely merged into my reality. I just accept what I perceive as my truth. You won't be able to convince me otherwise. Social interactions still puzzle me, and I still tune out the mundane and the static. Moreover, I've come to accept that I still don't understand why most people choose a course of action that upends the course of their reality. I no longer desire to wake from this dream.

My neurons still go numb from overstimulation, my body still screams at me, and my brain still melts. I've been in reverie all day, there is a smile on my face, and the serotonin is having a chill party crossing many of my synapses. I think i may dream of electric unicorns tonight. I won't be making soap. Not tonight at least. I'm going to sleep now.

-Kevin Sean